1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:03,830 Hi , my name is Colonel Dave Trotter on 2 00:00:03,830 --> 00:00:06,020 the vice commander of the 50 2nd Air 3 00:00:06,020 --> 00:00:08,590 Base wing . We'd like to introduce a 4 00:00:08,590 --> 00:00:11,020 campaign on resiliency today . And that 5 00:00:11,020 --> 00:00:13,560 campaign is the things that we carry . 6 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:16,207 And what does that mean ? Actually the 7 00:00:16,207 --> 00:00:18,096 things that we carry or are those 8 00:00:18,096 --> 00:00:20,170 things that the experiences in life 9 00:00:20,170 --> 00:00:22,281 that have taught us different lessons 10 00:00:22,281 --> 00:00:24,390 along the way you can experience 11 00:00:24,390 --> 00:00:26,560 experience for other people . But what 12 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:28,770 you can do is share experiences that 13 00:00:28,770 --> 00:00:31,590 will accelerate learning . And for me 14 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:33,822 that's what resilience is about and how 15 00:00:33,822 --> 00:00:36,180 we together as a team move forward . 16 00:00:36,190 --> 00:00:38,357 There's an old saying in the army that 17 00:00:38,357 --> 00:00:40,468 says hard times don't last , but hard 18 00:00:40,468 --> 00:00:42,740 people do . And in this series we're 19 00:00:42,740 --> 00:00:44,851 going to try to talk about that . And 20 00:00:44,851 --> 00:00:46,796 in one particular situation was my 21 00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:48,907 older brother who committed suicide . 22 00:00:48,907 --> 00:00:51,018 What I was troubled with the most was 23 00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:53,129 the fact that he had three young sons 24 00:00:53,129 --> 00:00:55,184 that all of a sudden lost her father 25 00:00:55,184 --> 00:00:57,060 with no explanation . I became 26 00:00:57,070 --> 00:01:00,510 instantly angry at him . I was 27 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,890 upset that he would do something to me . 28 00:01:03,890 --> 00:01:07,710 That seemed um selfish . I found 29 00:01:07,710 --> 00:01:10,440 myself really struggling with the idea 30 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:13,410 of , you know , carrying 31 00:01:13,410 --> 00:01:16,890 the experience that my older brother 32 00:01:16,890 --> 00:01:19,940 had committed suicide . I was becoming 33 00:01:19,940 --> 00:01:23,120 more and more angry as well . And as I 34 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:26,410 became angry , um I was beginning to 35 00:01:26,410 --> 00:01:28,632 have people tell me that they thought I 36 00:01:28,632 --> 00:01:31,140 was tense , that I thought I was a 37 00:01:31,140 --> 00:01:34,800 little aggressive and and that in some 38 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,450 cases they thought I'm out of line 39 00:01:37,940 --> 00:01:41,790 with how I'm treating people . And and 40 00:01:41,790 --> 00:01:44,000 that stress was just building and 41 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,830 building and building . And it got to 42 00:01:46,830 --> 00:01:49,120 the point where one of my peers , a 43 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,120 fellow company commander said , hey 44 00:01:51,130 --> 00:01:54,790 Trotter , I think I think you need to 45 00:01:54,790 --> 00:01:57,640 deal with your anger . And I had no 46 00:01:57,640 --> 00:01:59,862 idea what he was really talking about . 47 00:01:59,862 --> 00:02:02,084 A couple of weeks went past and he came 48 00:02:02,084 --> 00:02:04,084 back to me and said , trotter . You 49 00:02:04,084 --> 00:02:06,700 really need to do something . Your 50 00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,877 anger is involved with everything that 51 00:02:08,877 --> 00:02:11,760 you're doing now as a commander , and 52 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:14,230 you owe it to your soldiers to do to do 53 00:02:14,230 --> 00:02:18,190 a better job . That's when I thought I 54 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,422 do need to do something . I didn't know 55 00:02:20,422 --> 00:02:22,700 where to go , I didn't know what to do . 56 00:02:22,700 --> 00:02:24,490 Um and I remember talking to my 57 00:02:24,490 --> 00:02:27,620 chaplain at the time and asking the 58 00:02:27,620 --> 00:02:29,564 question , you know , do you see a 59 00:02:29,564 --> 00:02:31,453 difference in me ? Do you think I 60 00:02:31,453 --> 00:02:33,620 should do something ? And the chaplain 61 00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:37,530 saying yes , you probably do need 62 00:02:37,530 --> 00:02:40,980 to see somebody . We can talk about the 63 00:02:40,980 --> 00:02:43,740 loss . But I think right away , you 64 00:02:43,740 --> 00:02:45,962 need to talk about your anger . And for 65 00:02:45,962 --> 00:02:48,390 me , that's when it changed . I 66 00:02:48,390 --> 00:02:50,557 realized that I needed some help . And 67 00:02:50,557 --> 00:02:52,850 in doing so , the chaplain directed me 68 00:02:52,850 --> 00:02:55,600 to our Army community services and 69 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,630 there I found that I could I could 70 00:02:57,630 --> 00:03:00,950 learn how to handle that type of anger . 71 00:03:01,340 --> 00:03:03,507 And it's helped me ever since . What I 72 00:03:03,507 --> 00:03:06,030 found was that some of the things that 73 00:03:06,030 --> 00:03:08,086 I had learned , the tools that I had 74 00:03:08,086 --> 00:03:10,870 learned in that course I could apply to 75 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,310 my nephews . They were upset that their 76 00:03:13,310 --> 00:03:15,760 father would would do that . They were 77 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:17,927 upset that they didn't understand what 78 00:03:17,927 --> 00:03:20,140 happened . They were upset because 79 00:03:20,140 --> 00:03:23,310 their life had changed completely . And 80 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:26,070 trying to help them kind of sort all 81 00:03:26,070 --> 00:03:29,750 those things out . I found myself 82 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:32,730 teaching them about anger management 83 00:03:32,730 --> 00:03:35,500 skills , teaching them about this too 84 00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:38,620 shall pass and teaching them that we've 85 00:03:38,620 --> 00:03:40,842 got to be resilient and press through . 86 00:03:40,842 --> 00:03:43,440 We've got to fight through to the other 87 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,690 side , whatever that maybe it was one 88 00:03:45,690 --> 00:03:47,746 of the best decisions that I've ever 89 00:03:47,746 --> 00:03:50,730 made in the army . I mean , you know , 90 00:03:50,740 --> 00:03:54,310 when you talk about death and and the 91 00:03:54,310 --> 00:03:57,240 loss , you know that somebody probably 92 00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:59,310 won't return , he's going to do 93 00:03:59,310 --> 00:04:01,532 everything you can in training , you're 94 00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:03,421 going to do everything you can to 95 00:04:03,421 --> 00:04:05,690 prepare everyone because you're number 96 00:04:05,690 --> 00:04:07,746 one goal is to bring everyone home . 97 00:04:07,746 --> 00:04:09,860 But it's really hard to be prepared 98 00:04:09,870 --> 00:04:11,820 once you have a loss . Remember in 99 00:04:11,820 --> 00:04:14,100 combat , working with Master Sergeant , 100 00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:16,300 Anthony Davis , who's a good friend of 101 00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:20,150 mine , uh in barge Iraq on the 102 00:04:20,150 --> 00:04:23,290 25th of november 2000 and eight , he 103 00:04:23,290 --> 00:04:25,190 was killed during a humanitarian 104 00:04:25,190 --> 00:04:28,050 mission where he was giving food to 105 00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:30,610 local civilians . I wasn't ready for 106 00:04:30,610 --> 00:04:32,610 that . I had just talked to him the 107 00:04:32,610 --> 00:04:34,832 night before and we had just had dinner 108 00:04:34,832 --> 00:04:37,790 at his combat outpost and we were 109 00:04:37,790 --> 00:04:39,846 talking about his retirement , We're 110 00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:41,990 talking about his family and the next 111 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:44,420 day I found out he was dead . I 112 00:04:44,430 --> 00:04:46,580 couldn't understand you know why 113 00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:48,770 someone would be killed trying to do 114 00:04:48,780 --> 00:04:51,420 something good for other people . And I 115 00:04:51,420 --> 00:04:54,290 remember that time and talking with our 116 00:04:54,290 --> 00:04:57,630 combat stress team to kind of sort out 117 00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,696 what was , what was going through my 118 00:04:59,696 --> 00:05:01,807 mind at the time , which was a lot of 119 00:05:01,807 --> 00:05:04,250 anger , a lot of sorrow for his family 120 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:07,780 and a variety of other feelings . Six 121 00:05:07,780 --> 00:05:10,770 years later , to the exact date , had 122 00:05:10,770 --> 00:05:14,550 the sort major word L turner was killed , 123 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,560 he was out trying to help people in 124 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:18,640 Afghanistan and it was killed by a 125 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:22,150 roadside bomb working through the fact 126 00:05:22,150 --> 00:05:24,480 that to really , really important 127 00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:28,010 people in my life , friends were killed 128 00:05:28,020 --> 00:05:31,750 literally on the same day with just 129 00:05:32,740 --> 00:05:36,250 a few years separating the two . It's 130 00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:39,460 really , really kind of hard to 131 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,300 sort out that kind of thing by yourself , 132 00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:46,320 falls around thanksgiving everyone is 133 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:48,376 bringing their families together and 134 00:05:48,376 --> 00:05:50,560 I'm thinking about two men that won't 135 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:52,880 be at the thanksgiving dinner table 136 00:05:52,890 --> 00:05:55,720 each year . And and it's not something 137 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:58,560 that you talk about with your family 138 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:01,380 because , you know , you don't want to 139 00:06:01,380 --> 00:06:03,470 spoil it , you don't want to spoil 140 00:06:03,470 --> 00:06:06,560 their their happiness . But what I 141 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,560 found is that sharing that with 142 00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:13,220 with other friends that were 143 00:06:13,220 --> 00:06:15,510 there were people in the unit . It's 144 00:06:15,510 --> 00:06:18,070 been extremely helpful . I think all 145 00:06:18,070 --> 00:06:20,780 those experiences have been very 146 00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:23,500 helpful in defining who I am today . As 147 00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:25,556 I mentioned before , your experience 148 00:06:25,556 --> 00:06:28,810 may mean one thing to you , uh , it may 149 00:06:28,810 --> 00:06:31,250 mean something entirely different to me . 150 00:06:31,540 --> 00:06:33,850 We carry all those experiences with us . 151 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:36,573 The question is , what do we do with it ? 152 00:06:36,573 --> 00:06:38,796 How do we , how do we sort it out ? How 153 00:06:38,796 --> 00:06:41,110 do we deal with it so that we can 154 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:44,850 continue ? It's not if it's when 155 00:06:44,860 --> 00:06:48,420 things happen , we set the stage or the 156 00:06:48,420 --> 00:06:51,830 foundation to have resiliency as that 157 00:06:51,830 --> 00:06:54,250 backdrop so that as we move forward , 158 00:06:55,340 --> 00:06:58,000 when we experienced things that we 159 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,290 didn't expect , we can , we can always 160 00:07:00,290 --> 00:07:02,840 reach back to that foundation . We have 161 00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:05,690 to allow our soldiers to seek , you 162 00:07:05,690 --> 00:07:08,050 know , counseling . And I myself have 163 00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:10,050 have been in situations where I've 164 00:07:10,050 --> 00:07:12,460 required someone to sit down and and 165 00:07:12,460 --> 00:07:15,760 help me navigate uh , life's 166 00:07:15,940 --> 00:07:18,010 curve balls . I think that is 167 00:07:18,010 --> 00:07:20,910 absolutely something that is encouraged 168 00:07:20,910 --> 00:07:22,799 in the military today , that they 169 00:07:22,799 --> 00:07:24,990 should go forward and seek that 170 00:07:24,990 --> 00:07:26,950 assistance wherever they need it .